Friendships can be exhausting

Today I am feeling a little overspent...or a lot overspent. While such a simple thing it has really exhausted me. My daughter is back to her happy go lucky self and the weather has been beautiful. That is the plus side of things. On the down side, I have spent the last several weeks in doctors appointments for fertility tests, pediatrician appointments for my sick munchkin, tending to my hubby and Madi during their long lasting stomach virus, and doing favors for many different friends in last minute moments. I am just tired. No way around it.

I have really tried to make a huge effort staying in contact with our friends from back home, but even that is starting to take its toll on me. The truth is most of my friends don't venture out this way to see us. It's only an hour, but for some that is just too far. I can understand that. With a toddler in tow even short distances can feel like a lifetime. That being said, somehow I have ended up driving back home 2 to 3 times a week for the last several weeks. It's getting to be too much. And my husband is not happy with how I have blown the gas budget out of the water :-/ We have been here 5 months already and some friends have only ventured out here once or twice, yet here we are week after week trying to make time for everyone and the day long trips multiple times a week are just getting to be too much. And despite this, I have still not been able to spend time with everyone that I would like to. I'm so torn. I want to keep up with our relationships and fight to keep them strong, but I don't want to feel so burnt out and exhausted and I don't want to keep dragging my little girl around like some accessory. She's a person too and she needs to be able to stop and smell the roses as well. I feel like I am caught between a rock and a hard place. All of which continues to exhaust me.

I still enjoy the couple of friends who have remained steadfast and really made the effort to drive to our home and/or meet us half way. There have been memories built with these people and making this effort for each other has strnegthened our friendship. These friends have helped make our move an easier transition and are people that I will continue to love and spend time with for years to come. We have also made some wonderful new friends here in our new home and as time goes on I can see them getting deeper and stronger. Good friendships take time to create, but I can definitely see them in the making and I am enjoying the process.

All in all, I miss our "old" friends and wish our move had not impacted those relationships, I still enjoy the friends that we spend regular time with who have continued to love me and my family in such a special way, and I am looking forward to the new friends that we are in the process of making and many more to come as the years go on.