Bye Bye Ice Cream

Madilynn has a milk allergy :( :( :(

What this means for her breastfeeding mommy... no milk in my diet.

I went off dairy for about a week to see if there was a difference in her poop (yes I said poop... welcome to my new life), spit up, sleep, congestion, etc. Sure enough every day got a little better. To see if it really was the dairy, I spend 24 hours back on milk products. Boy did Madi pay the price for that one. It was awful. About 24 hours after my first milk consumption, the belly aches started. Her face turns bright red, she scrunches her knees in and has a very distinct my belly hurts cry. It was so hard to see her in so much pain. Not to mention neither of us getting any sleep for 48 hours. The bright side, we know its the dairy and can therefore do something about it. The downside, I love cheese and ice cream.

If anyone has suggestions of foods that have a milk protein substitute I am all ears. Keep in mind, I need to eat light on the soy as well as she has a slight reaction to that as well. In the end, her feeling her best is worth never having ice cream again.

Late Nights

It is 5am and I have been up with Madilynn since 4. Still, I cannot complain. She slept in her crib from 1 - 4 so I definitely got a decent nap. I have found these late night feedings to be very peaceful and reflective. Sure, I am exhausted, but I am also reminded of how lucky I am. It is so quiet at this time of night and the sleeping baby on my chest brings me so much joy and peace. These moments I cherish, because surely one day she will no longer need me in the middle of the night. And... while I do cherish them, I am also truly exhausted. 2 -3 hours of sleep at a time for 3 1/2 weeks has worn me. I find myself wishing my husband could breastfeed ;) and lets face it that is just delusional (a sure sign of my fatigue).

Can't get enough of her

My little bundle of joy is just that. She is all the joy I need. She is the best waste of time. I spend so much of my day just staring at her and watching all of the faces she makes while she dreams. She is so animated and she smiles constantly while she sleeps. Sometimes if I run my finger by her neck I will get a smile. I am starting to think she will be ticklish and lets face it... that is so much fun!

I never imagined I could love someone this much. She is my whole world and even though she is only two weeks old I can't remember life before her. It melts my heart to see how much her daddy adores her. He comes home and immediately, picks her up and begins to interact with and snuggle with her. I feel even more in love with him because of how much he loves our daughter and I didn't even think I could love him more. It is amazing how this little girl truly softens your heart.

Sadly, today we had to have an x-ray done of her extra thumb and it was a miserable experience. Ben and I had to hold her down on a cold medal table and smash her hand between plastic plates to get the x ray images. It hurt her to do that to her hand and she screamed at the top of her lungs. Needless to say, I cried too. I can't stand the idea of someone purposely hurting my baby girl and in this case mommy and daddy were the ones inflicting the pain. It was awful. On the bright side, they are going to wait to do the surgery until she is almost a year old and I got to take an amazing nap with Madi to make up for the torture we put her through.

sorry this post is all over the place... Madilynn is only 2 weeks old. my brain is still only functioning at half ability

Our newest arrival.

As some of you may have noticed, I have once again disappeared from the blogging scene. This time, it is with good reason. I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Madilynn Renee Wood, 5 lbs 6 oz and 20 inches on December 7, 2010 at 7:25pm. It has been a whirl wind ever since. I will give you a synopsis of her birth story, but I warn you, it isn't pretty. Luckily, she is worth all the tears.
On Sunday morning, December 5th, I began having contractions that were 5 minutes apart. I went into the hospital that night to get checked because we knew we were going to have a c-section birth. Ms.Madi was still breech at this 39 week mark and our attempts to have her turned had failed. When I went it to get checked, I was hardly dilated so I decided to go home and let nature run it's course so Madi could be as prepared as possible. I continued to experience contractions every 5 minutes for the next few days.
Feeling exhausted from the sleepness nights of breathing through contractions, I woke up on tuesday and decided to go for a walk with a good friend to get my mind off of the pain. I drove to her house and we took a nice long walk. By the finish of the walk, the contractions had me much more winded and I knew there was a good chance we were going to have this baby that day.
I called my OB and went back in to the hospital to have another check. Sure enough, I had somehow broken my water and not noticed and was now 3 centimeters dilated. I called my husband and had him meet me at the hospital. It was show time. I spent the next 8 hours waiting for antibiotics to take tehir course (since I was strep B postive) and for my stomach to fully empty in prepartation for anesthesia. By the time we were ready to head into the OR my contractions were just a couple minutes apart and I was ready.
As ready as I was, I was still terrified. This is the moment you wait your life for and you find out once and for all if your baby truly is safe and healthy. Ben waited outside for me and they gave me the spinal anesthesia. Not even fifteen minutes after that, Madilynn was out. I cried hysterically with happiness.
Then the sadness came. I couldn't hold my baby while I lay on the operating table and my husband was going to leave with her to the nursery to make sure everything was good. In addition, we discovered that she had an extra thumb... and no that is not a joke. The stitched me up and transferred me to recovery. I waited alone in recovery for two hours before my husband and daughter returned. It turns out she had low blood sugar and they needed to bring it up before they sent her back. What should have been a 20 minute trip to the nursery turned into a a 2 hour trip. I remember lying alone in the room waiting for them, realizing that this baby who was once inside my belly was taken out and then taken away and I was completely alone and devastated. I was hormonal and emotional. When they did return, I realized I still could not move because the pain from the operation was so strong. I had to sit back and watch as my husband did all the work caring for my little one and I was completely incapable. I felt discouraged and defeated.

The next morning brought many more happy feelings. I was feeling better and was determined to not let the surgery hinder me in any way. I was going to care for my baby and I was going to heal in record time because she needed me to. I wanted to be there for her and I needed full function back to do it. I asked them to not give me any pain meds aside from advil and I got up on my feet and began moving around. As each minute passed I grew stronger and fell more in love with my baby girl.

She is absolutely AMAZING. I feel so blessed to have her and I feel so much more in love with my husband. I didn't even know that was possible. God gave me this wonderful family and they have made me so happy I break out in happy tears at randomness. She is prefect and beautiful. Her extra thumb is even cute. We are having it removed and I am very nervous about the surgery. I can't stand the idea of putting my baby in pain, but I know when she is 17 and heading to the prom she will be grateful we made this decision for her. In the meantime, I am dreading out consultation at Children's hospital next week.
I will be in touch, in the rare instance, I have a free moment. We are learning so much and are no where near done. I will keep you posted.