Productivity Masks Emotionality

As you know I have been going insane trying to do an apartment make over of sorts. I got overly excited about painting the kitchen and when I asked Ben if we could do it this weekend, he said "NO." He clearly explained that it is nearing the end of our credit card statement and he would rather make the paint purchases on the next credit card cycle. Very understandable and responsible. None the less, I had a melt down consisting of a crying fit. Now, to me and I am sure all of you this appears to be completely ridiculous. Why is this girl throwing a fit because she doesn't get what she wants? So juvenile. I was embarrassed and Ben was confused, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong. After the tears subsided I realized the correlation. This entire situation does not look much different to my actions around the time of my moms death almost one year ago.

I think I am just running around trying to be busy and productive so that I can not be left alone with my own thoughts. It turns out that this is going to be more difficult and emotional that I had anticipated. I know that eventually I will not be able to run and I will have to think about it and get through it. However, I would like to have a safe, comfortable home that is reflective of my hard work to be able to just let out all of the grief and sadness. Until then, I will continue to revamp my apartment.

Spicing things up!!!

My Spring Cleaning is off to an AWESOME start! Not only have I been cleaning, but I have been moving furniture around and redecorating some. I even washed all the windows inside and out. The pictures above are of my dining room and bedroom and I am in love with them. The pictures below are the guest bedroom and the bathroom. The living room and kitchen are not yet complete, as I am hoping to get the kitchen painted as well. I will post when they are done. In the meantime, welcome to my home.


I feel so proud and accomplished so far :) I know it's kind of lame and nerdy to be so happy about cleaning and decortating and moving furniture, but I am still excited.

P.S. while trying to move furniture I pulled a muscle in my back and I couldn't bend for like 24 hours. Note to self: Wait for your husband to get home from work and help you. It's okay not to be as strong as the incredible hulk.

Summa Time Pampering :)

Well, my last final is tomorrow morning and that is a sure sign that it is time to get in the summer mood. I am getting a hair cut tomorrow, as well as a manicure and a pedicure. Can we say SPOILED? Then I am going to proceed to board a flight to North Carolina where I will lay in the sun by a pool in 86 degree weather for 3 days. It really doesn't get any better than this.

I am sorry this blog is so short, but I will have more to write about after my wonderful weekend away.

Spring Cleaning

Is it weird, that I am most excited for finals to be over so that I can do some deep cleaning in the apartment? I know, I know it is, but I don't care. I am going to wash all the windows inside and out, do some serious dusting with wood polish, change all of our sheets and decorations to summer, and rearrange furniture while vacuuming in ever corner and crevice. This does not sound exciting to most, but it is my heaven. And yes, for those that are wondering, I know I am entirely too anal. Again, I don't care. I am going to have a beautifully clean home and I will be doing lots of shopping to make my home something more reflective of our (meaning Ben and I) personalities.

Making a Vow

So far, the working out and healthy eating has been going well. I fear that if I do not make a public vow to continue with this healthier life style, I will soon give up. It has been a rough start trying to retrain my muscle memory and my joints ache. In addition, I have one hip that slips an inch higher than the other, which can making running very painful. I am seeing a chiropractor who adjusts me and does physical therapy, so I just need to hang in there until I level out. With that said, I promise to try my hardest to stay on a workout routine and maintain a healthy food diet for the remainder of the summer at least.

Unexpected

There is nothing better than having a day better than expected. For example, on Monday's I typically work until 7:30 pm, but today I was let off at 5. I was able to go running, workout, do laundry, and take a long shower with enough time to shave my legs. May not seem like a big deal to most, but I rarely find enough time to do one of those things yet along all of them. On top of that, I have completed all of my written assignments for the semester and am free tonight. I am in a wonderful mood and enjoying an amazing second glass of wine :) I love the unexpected days!!!

Feeling Good

Wednesday is the last day of Semester classes!!!!!!! Now I do have finals after but lets focus on the positive... nobody likes a debbie downer and while I sometimes do go there, today I won't.

I have a 25 page paper do on Monday and I finished it last week. That's right... early. I have a small 6 page paper due on Tuesday and I finished that on Friday. That's right again... early. I have found my stride. Unfortunately, I found the stride at the end and so the middle section of the semester was a bit of a stress overload, but who cares. I can now officially enjoy my days without work hanging over my head :)

On top of this academic success, I have exercised just about every day for the last two weeks and have been eating more healthy. Ben has been running with me and it has become such a wonderful time to just talk and catch up. It feels great to accomplish the run, increasing our time and distance each time, together. Here is the real clencher though, I have lost 4 pounds and I am really starting to see the toning come in to play.

Needless to say, I am feeling very encouraged. And the fact that I have been doing some spring online shopping doesn't hurt either. :)

Crabby

I am unbelievably crabby! I have had an insanely crazy week and while I tried to stay positive eventually the negative won me over. There was a MAJOR inconvenience that came up every day starting Tuesday and little by little it has worn me down.

Also, because I have had so much homework to do in the evenings, Ben has gone out with his friends 4 nights this week. This made me really sad because I feel very disconnected from him and I miss him. It isn't really fair for me to complain, because lets face it, I can't expect him to sit around and just watch me do homework so I can be enjoying his company simultaneously. That would be ridiculous and completely unfair to him.

I get so crabby sometimes, that I can't bring myself to want to do anything. I woke up to do homework today :( and Ben went on a tour of the Sam Adams brewery. Ben, trying to be nice, asked if I wanted to go shopping when he got back, but I am too cranky to even entertain the thought. So, I just need to make it through the next few weeks so I can enjoy having a little bit of free time to spend with friends and family and just not be crabby.