People Move

My sister is moving to Georgia next week. People move as we all know and honestly they do it alot. It's a hard concept all of a sudden for me to wrap my mind around. I have lived in different apartments and houses, but they have all been in the Boston Area. I have 4 sisters. We are 21, 22,23, and 24. The youngest is 8. Those of us closer in age are extremely close. One sister lives in Seattle, one in Vegas (although last week moved to GA) and the other who was here with me in Boston is leaving for Georgia on Thursday. She drives me crazy, but still I will miss her. For me it sort of feels like the end of that dream. It was fun while it lasted. Once upon a time, we were all unseperable and our biggest problem was what we were going to wear everyday. So fast we all grew up. 2 of us married, 2 of us with children. New families have been made. It is bitter sweet, we all lose some but we gain some too.

A Great Week!

I can't believe I actually have a moment to write a blog. I finished an exam early and so I have an hour before I need to pick up katie and Jack.

This week has been a whirl wind however I am feeling very encouraged by it. As exhausting as a crazy schedule can be, sometimes when I am in that rush it gets me on my A game. I have been up on time, showered and ready to go everyday. I have been early with homework assignments, even managed to make dinner a few nights, and really enjoyed my busy days with the kids.

On top of all of this, I was able to start my week with a happy attitude. The last couple weeks, Ben and I have gone to a new church on Sunday mornings which has had some really amazing sermons that have convicted me, and at the same time it was so refreshing to be able to see so clearly the things that I can change. I like to feel challenged and inspired and it has been a really long time since I have really felt that way. It helped to open a whole new window of communication for us in our marriage and really brought us closer on an emotional and spiritual level.

Ben went to New York with the guys for a couple days and I am missing him so much that it is border line embarrassing. Luckily, he gets home tonight and I am looking forward to our weekend together to relax coming off of the busy week.

sorry for the all over the place blog. it's hard when you miss an entire week of blogging

Burnt Out

How can a four day week seem so incredibly long? I am afraid I am in over my head and unfortunately there is nothing i can do about it but endure. I certainly can not afford to work any less hours or my husband and I will not make ends meet. As far as school, well the add/drop period is long passed and I am in the throws so there is no turning back. Several nights this week I have broken down from pure exhaustion. There was no real reasoning accept that I was actually sad because I had to stay awake and do homework each night. The real burn out though, was Jack this week.

He has been an amazing angel in weeks passed and I have really enjoyed spending time with them. Because of Jack's severe ADHD, Eileen (his mother) and I decided to take him completely off sugar. It was like night and day. He was a new kid and it was amazing. Then thursday rolled around and Jack managed to sneak an entire box of chocolate chip granola bars. OMG I did not know what to do. He literally ran around the house tearing things apart and several things were broken. I did my best to restrain him, but with so much sugar his central nervous system was just shot. At one point Eileen and I together had to hold him down to get shoes on him so he could run around the house 10 times in the hope that would wear him out. We were unsuccessful. It was about 8 hours before he began to calm down. I was wiped and had to head home to hours of homework.

As I type, I am taking a break from homework on this friday night. Ben is out with people from work and I have to work on Saturday and Sunday night this week. I guess I just sort of feel like I am missing out on my own life. Luckily, I have faith that if I can just get through each semester there is a nice long break before the next. And hopefully 4 semsters will fly by and I will be free to again enjoy my life. Keep me in your prayers.

Shopping

My husband and I have very different ideas of what shopping is. I like to know what it is I am looking for, go find it, purchase it and then be done with the shopping experience. My husband however loves to window shop and just see what is out there available for affordable costs. Sometimes however he does surprise me.

We are in desperate need of a new mattress. It was a gift/hand me down when we were first married and it has become quite a source of frustration. The center sinks in and so all night long we constantly roll into each other and then try to claw ourselves back out on to the edge. With that said, we decided to start looking for mattress' that were in our price range.

We went to Sleepy's and tried out lots of beds. Usually this is the part where I get very uncomfortable because I feel so guilty having a salesman waste all is time on us, when I know we are not going to buy that day. I just want to crawl under one of the beds and just disappear. I had this same problem when we were car shopping. Luckily, my husband made an unexpected move. He bought a bed and scheduled it for next day delivery. Thank goodness. Not only was I saved from complete humiliation, but I will soon be getting a good nights sleep without the hassle of visiting multiple stores.

Dinner Time

For Valentine's day dinner my husband decided to make dinner and what a beautiful mess it was. It's interesting how foreign a kitchen can sometimes be to a man who rarely cooks. I watched him drop several things on the floor, search frantically for certain utensils, and dirty as many dishes as he possibly could in the process. Despite the chaos, he made a wonderful and heart felt meal. Steak, homemade mashed potatoes, and ceaser salad. You know you are in love, when no matter the disaster you still think they are the greatest thing in the world.

Chicken Kabob

Fridays nights are the most relaxing night of the week for Ben and I. I like to pour a glass of wine and make something delicious for dinner. With our schedules so busy these days, I am not able to make dinner every night and so it makes Friday nights really special.

I had never actually made chicken kabob's before and it turns out they are very easy to make. I cut up the chicken and put it in marinade for the day. A couple hours before cooking time, I added greeen and red bell peppers to the marinade. Then you just stick them on the skewer and put them in the broiler (turning them once) until done. How wonderfully easy and tasty :) I also made spanish rice using a recipe i found on allrecipes.com. It had wonderful flavor and only took about 30 minutes to cook.

Any body that wants an easy dinner to make that tastes like it took hours should definitely try chicken kabob's.

P.S. THIS IS A PICTURE OF THE KABOB'S WAITING TO GO IN THE OVEN, THEY AREN'T COOKED YET

Creativity

Katie was painting a piece of wood that was going to be a sign for her bedrooom door. She was using lots of colors and somehow, she decided it looked like a butterfly. She did her best to make it look just like that. When I saw how hard she was working, I said "wow, you are very creative." she looked at me with a confused expression. It was then that I realized she did not know what that word meant. I explained in child-like terms... I said that it meant she was using her imagination and there was lots of extra stuff there.

later on that day, Jack was telling an obvious lie about his day at school. Katie laughing said, "Jack, Are you trying to be creative?" It was too perfect. Guess I didn't explain very well. His using his imagination was more of a lie than creative, but still adorable none the less. They never cease to amaze me!

Craving Spring

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH it was in the 50's yesterday. I can't even believe it :) I took the kids to the park for 3 hours and I finally had to demand we leave since the sun had already set. They were excited to release their cabin fever. Only problem is that we know it's only a tease. There will definitely be some days that are still freezing before we get to actual spring. At least for now we got a small taste and now I can sit and wait and imagine filling my craving for spring.

Did an entire week just pass by?

What a week it has been? I have been so crazed with work and school and snow storms that this week was excruciatingly long. Here is an idea of my schedule this week.

Monday - leave for school 7am, there until 11am
pick Katie up from school noon - watch katie and jack until 7:30
8pm - 10pm D-group and then I hung out with a friend afterwards til midnight

Tuesday - obnoxious out- patient procedure at the hopsital 9am - noon
shovel my driveway 3 times
homework until 10pm

Wednesday - leave for school 7am, there until 11am
pick Katie up from school noon - watch katie and jack until 6pm
Write a paper- bed at 11pm

Thursday - leave for school 7am, there until 11am
pick Katie up from school noon - watch katie and jack until 7:30pm
midweek 8pm - 9:30
Bed at 10:30
Friday - leave for school 7am, there until 11am
pick Katie up from school noon - watch katie and jack until 7:30pm
Home and straight to bed finally

Ben had to console me on Friday morning because I started crying when the alarm clock went off. I was so exhausted and did not want to get out of bed. On the bright side I slept until 10am this lazy saturday morning and I am looking forward to doing nothing all day long :)

why don't you have a mommy?

I am a nanny part time for a 4 year old little girl named katie and a 6 year old little boy named Jack. Although a lot of times they are the source of my headaches, they bring me joy most of the time. They ask questions that sometimes make me laugh because they dont make any sense or they ask me things that make so much sense to me but I still can't explain it to them. For example, one day Jack asked me, "If a house is for sale, does that mean it costs less money now?" Too adorable... for sale verses on sale!

Today however, did not make me laugh but made me teary instead. I had just picked Katie up from pre-school and on the way home she randomly and so innocently asked, "Becky, why don't you have a mommy?" The obvious and sensible answer would be 'because she passed away,' but instead i was stumped. I actually didn't know how to answer because I realized I didn't know why I didn't have a mom. I understand that she is gone, but I don't understand why she is gone. That for me is the hardest thing. If there was any explanation of any kind, I think I could move on more easily, but being content just knowing God had a reason doesn't always seem enough for me. As I write that, I see how ridiculous it may come across that I actually think I am entitled to receive reasoning from God, but at the same timethere are moments when it really can feel that way. Sometimes it's still hard to grip and even though it has been almost 8 months, on certain days it feels like it has been five minutes. I am told by friends and family that it passes and soon it will not seem so overwhelming, but the verdict is still out on that.

The most amazing part of that simple convo with Katie was that I had never told Katie that my mom had passed. She must have picked up on the fact that I talk about everyone else in my life, but my mom. I think I do this to avoid the subject all together. Kids intuition. There is nothing like it and they will always surprise me.

Busy Saturday

3am on Saturday morning I was wide awake with an excruciating migraine. It was one of those ones where if you sit up, stand, roll over or basically breath you get sharp shooting pains in your head. I was at a hotel with my Husband celebrating his birthday and this could not have been worse timing. Usually guilty by nature this did not help my insecurity, and i was feeling just awful about it. Finally at 9:30 in the morning and a couple of Advil's later, the head ache began to subside and we were ready for a fun filled day.

Our hotel was the Club Quarter in Boston, right next to State Street and Gov't center so we had the perfect opportunity to go tour fanuel hall. We walked around in the frigid cold and checked out the shops. We ended up having lunch at one of the food court options in the hall and had some of the most AMAZING mac 'n' cheese we have ever had. If you are making fun of us right now, you can turn your laughter around because I know most everybody has a secret love of mac 'n' cheese. Our next stop was Mike's Pastry in the North End, obviously. How could we not stop in for some deliciousness!

We left the city, stopped at the grocery store and then headed home, so I could do laundry and clean up before having dinner at a friend's house that night. We are always on the GO.