Can't get enough of her

My little bundle of joy is just that. She is all the joy I need. She is the best waste of time. I spend so much of my day just staring at her and watching all of the faces she makes while she dreams. She is so animated and she smiles constantly while she sleeps. Sometimes if I run my finger by her neck I will get a smile. I am starting to think she will be ticklish and lets face it... that is so much fun!

I never imagined I could love someone this much. She is my whole world and even though she is only two weeks old I can't remember life before her. It melts my heart to see how much her daddy adores her. He comes home and immediately, picks her up and begins to interact with and snuggle with her. I feel even more in love with him because of how much he loves our daughter and I didn't even think I could love him more. It is amazing how this little girl truly softens your heart.

Sadly, today we had to have an x-ray done of her extra thumb and it was a miserable experience. Ben and I had to hold her down on a cold medal table and smash her hand between plastic plates to get the x ray images. It hurt her to do that to her hand and she screamed at the top of her lungs. Needless to say, I cried too. I can't stand the idea of someone purposely hurting my baby girl and in this case mommy and daddy were the ones inflicting the pain. It was awful. On the bright side, they are going to wait to do the surgery until she is almost a year old and I got to take an amazing nap with Madi to make up for the torture we put her through.

sorry this post is all over the place... Madilynn is only 2 weeks old. my brain is still only functioning at half ability

Our newest arrival.

As some of you may have noticed, I have once again disappeared from the blogging scene. This time, it is with good reason. I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Madilynn Renee Wood, 5 lbs 6 oz and 20 inches on December 7, 2010 at 7:25pm. It has been a whirl wind ever since. I will give you a synopsis of her birth story, but I warn you, it isn't pretty. Luckily, she is worth all the tears.
On Sunday morning, December 5th, I began having contractions that were 5 minutes apart. I went into the hospital that night to get checked because we knew we were going to have a c-section birth. Ms.Madi was still breech at this 39 week mark and our attempts to have her turned had failed. When I went it to get checked, I was hardly dilated so I decided to go home and let nature run it's course so Madi could be as prepared as possible. I continued to experience contractions every 5 minutes for the next few days.
Feeling exhausted from the sleepness nights of breathing through contractions, I woke up on tuesday and decided to go for a walk with a good friend to get my mind off of the pain. I drove to her house and we took a nice long walk. By the finish of the walk, the contractions had me much more winded and I knew there was a good chance we were going to have this baby that day.
I called my OB and went back in to the hospital to have another check. Sure enough, I had somehow broken my water and not noticed and was now 3 centimeters dilated. I called my husband and had him meet me at the hospital. It was show time. I spent the next 8 hours waiting for antibiotics to take tehir course (since I was strep B postive) and for my stomach to fully empty in prepartation for anesthesia. By the time we were ready to head into the OR my contractions were just a couple minutes apart and I was ready.
As ready as I was, I was still terrified. This is the moment you wait your life for and you find out once and for all if your baby truly is safe and healthy. Ben waited outside for me and they gave me the spinal anesthesia. Not even fifteen minutes after that, Madilynn was out. I cried hysterically with happiness.
Then the sadness came. I couldn't hold my baby while I lay on the operating table and my husband was going to leave with her to the nursery to make sure everything was good. In addition, we discovered that she had an extra thumb... and no that is not a joke. The stitched me up and transferred me to recovery. I waited alone in recovery for two hours before my husband and daughter returned. It turns out she had low blood sugar and they needed to bring it up before they sent her back. What should have been a 20 minute trip to the nursery turned into a a 2 hour trip. I remember lying alone in the room waiting for them, realizing that this baby who was once inside my belly was taken out and then taken away and I was completely alone and devastated. I was hormonal and emotional. When they did return, I realized I still could not move because the pain from the operation was so strong. I had to sit back and watch as my husband did all the work caring for my little one and I was completely incapable. I felt discouraged and defeated.

The next morning brought many more happy feelings. I was feeling better and was determined to not let the surgery hinder me in any way. I was going to care for my baby and I was going to heal in record time because she needed me to. I wanted to be there for her and I needed full function back to do it. I asked them to not give me any pain meds aside from advil and I got up on my feet and began moving around. As each minute passed I grew stronger and fell more in love with my baby girl.

She is absolutely AMAZING. I feel so blessed to have her and I feel so much more in love with my husband. I didn't even know that was possible. God gave me this wonderful family and they have made me so happy I break out in happy tears at randomness. She is prefect and beautiful. Her extra thumb is even cute. We are having it removed and I am very nervous about the surgery. I can't stand the idea of putting my baby in pain, but I know when she is 17 and heading to the prom she will be grateful we made this decision for her. In the meantime, I am dreading out consultation at Children's hospital next week.
I will be in touch, in the rare instance, I have a free moment. We are learning so much and are no where near done. I will keep you posted.

Thankfulness

Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow I thought I would take a moment to thank the women that have been a particular blessing in my life most recently. I think the people in your life that make each day a little brighter are the little blessings from God. For that I am grateful.

I am going to describe these amazing friends and they will know who they are... no need for names...

I am thankful for growing friendships. I have a close friend who is also an old college roommate. Recently, she has been able to be there for me in the most amazing way. She has let me vent the good and bad and has really shared in my excitement of Madilynn. She has taken time out of her busy schedule to spend with me getting coffee or carpooling with me so that we can catch up. She has made these last couple months some of the most peaceful and encouraging and I love that I can call her one of my very best friends.

A helpful new mom... This young woman is a new mom of a beautiful baby girl and she is been above and beyond a source of encouragement. She has made meals for my husband and I, lent me baby products and books, and has been an excellent source of advice and information on being a mom. I have felt so encouraged and taken care of by her. She has really made me feel special. I am overwhelmed by her generosity :)

My surrogate mom has always been there and I know always will. She takes the time to shoot encouraging texts my way just letting me know she is thinking of me and takes time out of her buys work day to get lunch with me. Every time I spend time with her I am reminded of how loved I am. That is a priceless feeling.

There were five amazing women who put on the most AMAZING baby shower for me. I felt so blessed and I could really feel the love from each of them. It was a wonderful and joyful occasion, that would not have been the same if it were not for the love and effort of those five women.

Lastly, I am thankful for my baby girl. She has been soooo good to me. She allows me to still sleep through the night and responds to my touch and my voice. I feel so connected to her and so filled with love for her, that I almost don't know how to handle it all. She is my pride and joy. I am already grateful for her, even though I have not yet seen her little face.

I love all of these wonderful ladies with an unconditional love and I am hoping they have a wonderful holiday. Thanks to all of you for making such an effort to make my days that much better. Happy Thanksgiving!

She's Almost Here

I am so consumed and excited with our upcoming due date that I can't seem to focus on anything else. I am finishing my last major school assignment, but it is taking a lot longer because I am busy counting down the last 22 days. I can't lie, I will be sad if we go over our due date. I feel fine physically, I am just eager to meet her. I can't take the wait anymore. I am ready to take this on. I want to wake up all night long to meet her needs. I want to rock, hold, and kiss her constantly. She has made me the happiest I have ever been and I have not even officially met her. I can't imagine the profound impact she is about to have on our lives. Come what may, next month we will have our baby girl... CAN'T WAIT!!!

Winner Gets a Prize!

As I get more and more excited about Madi's arrival, I can't help but imagine all the details. With that said, I thought it would be fun to have a small competition. I think it just makes it more fun and gives something even more to look forward to. Below in the comment section, you can guess the labor date, weight, and length of Madi. The closest guesser overall will get a prize. I don't know what it will be yet, but after her birth and we get settled I really will send a prize.

My guess...
Labor Date: December 11, 2010
Weight: 7lbs, 6 oz.
Length: 19 inches.

This is a random guess! If I win I don't have to get a prize so that would be nice ;) he he.Good luck everyone.

The most remarkable feeling!

This weekend was my baby shower. The people that I love so dearly all gathered to encourage me and my new baby girl that is on her way. I felt so loved and special. I now have all of these gorgeous things that are being set up beautifully in Madi's room. It just reminds me of how lucky I am. I have 5 weeks until her due date and I feel so ready. I am not scared, nervous, or anxious. I am content and feel a calm joy and that feeling is priceless. I am going to try my best to hold on to and remember this feeling because like all emotions they do pass. But so far... this feeling of peaceful anticipation takes the cake!

Madi Bear

Madi Bear...that is what we call you. I am not sure how it came to be, but it has already stuck. For all we know you won't look like a bear at all. We started taking our birthing class in the hopes of having the best birth possible to bring you into the world as peacefully as possible. The book they gave us suggested writing you letters and so I thought I would give it a try.

Your daddy and I already love you more than we can stand. Every morning when he leaves for work and I am still in bed, he gives me a kiss and then kisses and rubs my belly and tells you he loves you and hopes you have a great day. You will be completely still and then as soon as daddy rubs my belly you start pushing against his hand and rolling around. As crazy as it sounds, I think you know who he is. Sometimes you push so hard it feels as if you are trying to get out to get to him. You do the exact same thing at the end of the day when I get home from work and your daddy asks how your day was. It is such a special thing. I hope you adore him just as much when you actually arrive.

Last night we used a flash light to play with you. Now that you can see light through the belly you just go crazy when we shine a light on you. It is so fun. The doctor tells me that you are supposed to start moving a lot less because you are running out of room, but I think you are moving more. You are stronger now, so sometimes you kick so hard it actually startles me. Already, you are working to keep me on my toes.

We have less than seven weeks to go, but we are getting anxious to meet you. We have all sorts of predictions about what type of baby you will be. We think you will be really energetic and possibly a little high maintenance. You seem to already make all of the decisions :) Sometimes you stick your foot behind one of my hips making it impossible for me to stand up until you move, you decide when I have to pee, and if and when I get a good night sleep. Still... I am never annoyed, just overjoyed it is you causing all of that trouble. I am excited to meet you and excited to see how our life will change. There are so many fun things to learn about you. Will you be a good eater? Will you be a good sleeper? Will you be social and love people like we do?All of these are fun things that we get to figure out. No matter what, we already love you and know that we will love you even more with every day. Thank you for working your way to us and being patient with me on days when I am on the go 10 plus hours at a time. You have truly been a great sport! I promise we will have more mellow days to come and will relax lots when you get here.

See you soon.
Love always,
your mommy.