Battle of the wills

This past Sunday we decided to take the plunge and give up pacifiers from our rambunctious 2 year old. Needless to say, she was not a fan. We had talked about it the days prior and explained that all the new babies needed paci's and she was a big girl now. I have been dreading this moment for months. She was obsessed with her Paci's and loved to have multiple in her crib for easy access in the night. Paci's could calm an overtired little girl, a sick girl, a big or small ouchie, and a sad heart. I very nervously asked Madi to help me collect all of the paci's and we put them in a gift bag to "give" to a new baby. Surprisingly, she was very cooperative and dare I say even excited. Night time came and our routine was normal; potty stop, pajamas, teeth brushing, a book, hugs and kisses, and laid her down in her crib. Immediately she asked, "get my paci please?" Ut - oh. I calmly and simply reminded her that all the paci's had been packed away for all the new babies. She FREAKED out. I left the room and the meltdown continued. I went back into her room several times in an attempted to comfort her but no amount of rocking, back rubbing, snuggling, singing, or kissing would help. She wanted her paci and that was that. My heart was breaking. I hated hearing the sadness in her pleas and it consumed me. I felt like this was all my fault ( which lets face it, it kind of was) and she didn't understand. After 3 hours of hysteria I caved partially and gave her a paci with the top of the nipple cut off. She was out in 5 minutes. The next day she declared her paci broken and threw it across the room before nap time. Okay, partial battle won. She officially did not want that thing back. This was all so hard on both of us, but she does get it and by the third night went to bed without a single tear.

Nap time on the other hand has been a nightmare. Days 1 -3 there was no nap. She just sits in her crib and waits for me to come get her. She is simply refusing to nap without her paci. It has become a battle of the wills. I am waiting her out for her to crash and she is waiting me out to come get her. Today, she laid in her crib for 4 hours before finally conceding and going to sleep. 4 hours!!!!!!!! Was she kidding? It's killing me. She is so strong willed and she is undoubtedly trying to take control of this situation. Gotta love that 2 year old independence. I can't even begin to explain the illogical obsession i have with my daughters sleep. The stress and anxiety I feel over a desperately needed and skipped nap is ridiculous. Still, I can't help it. I feel peace and comfort when I know my child is sound asleep and getting that recovery time for her little brain and body. Despite the stress and unknowns I am determined to win this battle. If I have to be a shut in for the next week so that she will learn that not napping is not a choice, I will do it. And above all else I will not give the paci back. That will defeat the whole process. So I say to you, my adorable little peanut trying to play Jedi mind tricks with me, best to just back down because I will be winning this battle of the wills. It's on!!!