5 years and counting

Yesterday was my 5th wedding Anniversary!!! It's almost unbelievable. It went by in a blink of an eye. The first three years were trying to say the least. My mother passed away unexpectedly. I was diagnosed with papillary carcinoma (thyroid cancer),had surgery to remove my thyroid, and began hormone replacement medication which I now take on a daily basis. We also had some trouble getting pregnant, but once she was on her way it was smooth sailing.

The two years we have had peanut along side us have been the best two years of my life. Our days have been filled with giggles and sweet kisses and the drama seems to have exited our life with the entrance of this pure and simple baby girl. The first year of motherhood was undoubtedly a challenge, but always a joy. We began a new dynamic as a family and settled into new roles and my relationship with my husband reached a deeper more meaningful level.

 On to this last year. This year my husband graduated from business school and began a new job. We bought our first house and moved to a new state. There was a lot of change, but none of it seemed as scary as it could have been without Ben (the hubby) by my side. We are looking at this anniversary as a time of reflection of what we have accomplished over the last five years and a time to contemplate and set goals for the next 5 years. This man is the love of my life. He makes me feel secure and safe. I feel taken care of and adored. He makes me feel like the worlds best mom and still looks at me like he's just fallen in love with me. He is my other half and I can't wait to see how our life changes together in the next 5 years.

Here I go again

I blog rarely. We all know this. I'm not good at it and the process makes me feel overwhelmed and insecure. Despite this, I am going to give blogging another shot. We recently moved to Rhode Island and I have very few friends and I think that blogging would be a good outlet for me while we get settled. I'll start slowly to get in the swing and then hopefully learn about this whole 'linking up' phenomena.

Groundhog Day

When you have a toddler and your husband works full time taking your only car to work leaving you stranded, you settle into a very predictable routine. Sometimes I'm dying to get in the car and head somewhere new and sometimes I love being able to count on our routine. Either way, there are few dull moments in the life of a stay at home mom. Here is a glimpse of our daily routine.

5:30 - daddy wakes up and gets ready for work
7- daddy leaves for work :( 7:30ish Madi wakes up - she plays quietly in her crib until I get her.
8:30 - mommy showers and starts to get ready
9am - go get Madi, change diaper, sit down for breakfast (while Madi eats mommy finishes getting ready for the day.
9:30 - time to watch Mickey mouse club house - mommy downs 2 large cups of coffee :)
10am - dress Madi and brush her teeth. From here we have playtime. If it's nice we go for a walk, play outside with the neighbors or go in the kiddie pool, play with bubbles or chalk, or drive her car.
11:15/11:30 - Madi has a snack and milk
11:45 - nap time (asleep from about noon - 2) During this time mommy does laundry and/or dishes, eats      lunch, returns phone calls, on rare occasion I get a nap.
2:30 or whenever she starts to fuss - get Madi from nap and give her a snack/lunch. Mommy drinks another coffee - need to refuel for the race to the finish. More playtime until dinner.
5- Madi eats dinner - she spends a while at the dinner table.
5:45 or whenever she's done eating - pj's and teeth brushing. After we snuggle and watch a few minutes of TV
6:15ish - we read a book, say a prayer and go to sleep.
6:30 - mommy picks up the house and starts dinner or heats up leftovers lol. We do not have daily gourmet meals in this household. :/
7 - daddy comes home, we have dinner, spend some quiet baby free time together, go to sleep to wake up the next day and do it all over again.

 I realize this may not sound glamorous, but the schedule leaves out all the sweet moments. Like when I open her door in the morning and she jumps up and says, "morning" in her sweet voice. Or the giggles throughout the day and her telling me I'm silly. It's her evening phone call with da da on his way home from work. She has the sweetest back and forth banter with him. It's her begging for a cookie and if she gets one her giving me thank you kisses. It's me giving her some dried Cheerios in a snack cup and a sippy cup of milk, only to walk in 3 minutes later and here her say "cereal" and see that she poured her milk into the Cheerios and all over the couch. Can't blame a girl for trying. Everyday she learns something new and I get to see it happen. I'll take groundhog day routines any day because even though the schedule falls the same, she makes each day new and exciting. And while she rarely sees da da Monday through Thursday we make up for it on Friday afternoons and weekends by going special places and trying new things together as a family. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone else's.

Understanding

The age/stage that Madi is in is my absolute favorite. Something in her little brain has clicked and she is soaking in he world faster than ever. I can tell her something once, she can repeat it, and will remember it. I no longer have to repeat myself 100 times for her to learn something or for her to understand what I am asking of her. It's amazing. There was a moment today, where it really clicked for me that she was one of the big kids now. We were at a play space in the mall. She walked to the stairs of a play structure and said "wait. turn" as to my surprise she waited patiently for it to be her turn. She then said, "climb" and climbed the stairs. She then said "slide" and counted to 3 before sliding down. She then ran around to do it again. She saw another child try to climb up the slide rather than slide down it ( which she knows she is not allowed to do). She told the little girl, "no, no, no. Around." she was telling the the little girl to go around to climb the stairs. All on her own she understood everything she was supposed to do. She knew to wait her turn, and climb the stairs, and slide. And she knew the rule was to walk around and I didn't have to say anything to her. This may seem like a small thing to most people, but to me it was HUGE. As a mom of a mobile baby it can feel like you repeat yourself all day even though you have no idea if any of it sinks in or if you are wasting your breath. You work to stay consistent and lay down the law. There are time outs and tantrums and one sided conversations that can leave you exhausted at the end of the day. And then all of a sudden, my 17 month old, not so baby anymore, proves to me it was worth it and she understood. And sure there are days that are worse than others, but those little moments where you can pat yourself and your little one on the back knowing you both did your part - mom being the teacher and child the learner, both hard jobs and everyone is doing ok. That makes everything worth it.

Toddlers

People that say toddlers are trouble are both right and wrong. Madi definitely gets in to trouble, but it’s a pretty direct result of her trying to discover and understand the world around her and I love watching her understanding grow. It’s truly remarkable. She is communicating so much and is really developing her own sense of humor. She finds it hysterical to “scare” ben. She comes up behind him and screams. When he screams, pretending he was actually frightened, it sends her into a fit of giggles. She dances when music plays and cheers when Ellen comes on tv every week day at 4. She says “yay” and claps her hands. And then waves and says, “Hi, Ellen.” It just might be my favorite part of our days. She now goes out of her way to ask for specific things without being prompted and is very aware of what she wants. She goes to bed happily without a fit for both her nap and bedtime (most of the time – we have the occasional bad teething spell). She uses her pleases and thank you’s and is very into kisses and hugs. She constantly keeps us laughing. She is just what we need to keep us grounded and to help remind us to be grateful. If you ask me, everyone could stand to spend time with a toddler J

Fatigue

This week has pushed both Ben and I to our limits. This is partially a result of poor time management and partially because we just had an insanely busy week with a needy toddler. Ben is in the throws of his final weeks of graduate school. Wahoo!!!!! He has been glued to the computer working tirelessly to finish strong. I have been so proud of him. In an effort to soak up any time with him, I have been staying up SUPER late along with him. The hours of lost sleep are starting to really stack up.


Then, sadly, we found out that my great Aunt passed away suddenly in her sleep. She was 69 years old and married to my uncle for 47 years. They started dating when they were 15. The funeral was in CT on Friday and was emotionally draining. I can’t help, but realize that one day that could be Ben and I. It feels too real and terrifying. I can’t stand to watch my cousins lose their mother. I have yet to find a worse feeling, and I am so sad that they have to experience it. This alone has taken the very life out of me.

As life gets busier we have to fight to keep up. Poor Madi has had 4 babysitters in just 2 days and I have had only 6 hours total with her in those last 2 days. Last night she was up from 3:30 to 5:30. Ouch. Ben tag teamed with me thank goodness. I had to be up at 6 am for work so the middle of the night waking hurt more than it usually would. Never the less, the girls teeth are killing her so she’s really not at fault. Our house is a disaster… result of mommy being gone so much and babysitters in and out.

Tonight we are looking forward to a much needed date night. In this moment, a nap seems much more exciting, but I know once we are out it will be worth it. We are contemplating a movie. We have not been to the movies since Madi was 4 weeks old. Yikes!. Looking forward to life slowing down a smidge so that I can soak up the beauty that is my family.

Long Weekends

We had a beautiful fun filled 4 day weekend. It was anywhere from 70 - 88 degrees the entire time and we took full advantage.


On Friday, Madi and I had a mommy and baby (toddler) date at the mall. We bought new shoes, played in the play place and focused on a purple balloon. Not too hard to please her ;)


On Saturday, we started the morning with our best friends having the best brunch I have had in ages. Madi sat in her high chair happily the entire time. It was an hour and half. I was so proud of her. She really hardly made a peep. She colored, read books, ate breakfast, and watched elmo all without a single whine or scream.


After breakfast Madi and I headed to Maine for a girls weekend with the cousins. She loves hanging out with the big girls. She slept a solid 13 hours that night, which meant I could stay up with my cousins talking and laughing with a glass of wine.


The next morning we headed to the beach. I had planned on just walking along the beach in the sand, but Miss Independent had other plans and I didn't mind one bit! She was in bliss with a day at the beach.


We headed home around mid day in time for the patriots day parade. She ran and collected candy that was thrown from floats and cars and danced and clapped with the marching bands.

The next day we had daddy all to ourselves and we chose to go to another town parade. She had lots of kisses and laughs for each of us.This weekend allowed for a lot of special mother daughter time and we really enjoyed each other's company. She has started laughing most of every day and has been really into being silly. Pretending to scare us, playing hide and seek, and taking walks holding my hand. She is such a big girl now and I LOVE every minute I get to spend with her- watching her learn new things.