It's All Ok

Having a baby has completely changed my perspective and made me a much more positive person. In the past, if I didn't get 8 hours of sleep at night I would be sleepy and upset. Now, I thank God for two hours and now that she sleeps five at a time I just want to jump for joy. Still, if she slept only one hour I would be delighted. Beggers can't be choosers.

Additionally, Madi has reflux...ugghhh. It makes me sad that she is uncomfortable, but the positive is that it's just reflux. Of all the things that can go wrong with a baby, I will happily take reflux. And there is something about this baby girl that makes all things worth it. When she is feeling good, she is soooooooo happy. She doesn't get fussy in the evening like most babies and only cries when she wants to be put down for a nap or fed or is having tummy aches from the reflux (which we are learning to keep at bay and reduce the discomfort... all in good time).

The down side, I am constantly drenched in spit up, up to my ears in laundry full of burp cloths and bibs, and envious of every mom in my new moms group who have babies that don't wear bibs and don't have to be held up right for 30 minutes after each feeding. With Madi, I have to try to burp her every ten minutes in every feeding, keep her upright for thirty minutes and every few nights spend the entire night bouncing a screaming baby. But... then that passes and she has a good day and she looks at me and smiles as if to say, "thanks for trying to soothe me mommy. I feel much better now." And then every thing is better and I could care less that I got no sleep or smell like sour milk.

I think God made babies so loveable so that the hardships of being a new mom are worth it. And she is, without a doubt, worth it. I am that obnoxious mother that wants to kiss her cheeks 24/7 and sometimes I get really antsy when she takes a long nap because I miss her and want her to wake up. She is just so fun.

I don't care if I don't sleep for a week, look frumpy from a lack of time to prep myself, or never have a moment to get my self something to eat again. I have never been so happy to be so all over the place. She's worth it and that makes it all ok.