unpredictable

Life with Madi is very unpredictable. Sometimes she sleeps like a champ and wakes only once in the night and sometimes she barely sleeps at all. Still, I enjoy all of my moments with her. I feel like i have found my calling. I love knowing that I have such a special relationship with this tiny person. I know her cries and what they mean, I know her favorite way to be held, soothed, and comforted. I know what she wants by certain looks she gives me. And I love that knowing these things makes me a good mom. I know her and can therefore almost always make her happy when she's sad. I love every new stage she enters but not so secretly am sad to see old ones leave. We gave her a bottle for the first time this week and I actually cried. I thought maybe she would miss me, but she could care less as long as there was milk in that bottle. At the same time, while sad, I was also so proud of her acting like such a big girl and being so flexible with change. I know there will be many more moments where I mourn the passing of a stage, but at least I am still excited to see what comes next.